Consider carefully the motivation behind the divorce action – not the reasons for divorcing, but for the method of its process. In this way, better  introspective decisions may be reached.

1. Upset: very legitimate, as a perceived wronged party  It may result in a desire to rehash the wrongs to air ones true feelings, to have ones day in court. None of these understandable feelings will be satisfied by the fulfilment of the court process
2. Anger: some people spurred by anger may believe this is is the best way of ‘punishing’ the other party. In reality, here’s a remention of a top tip: in family court it is rare to quash an opponent. Too many shades of grey.  Anger is unlikely to be triumphant in court.
3. Memories: An inability to let go, resulting in a state of semi paralysis or a status quo. The push to move on must emanate from a positive desire, which is stymied.
4. The financial equation.  Finance is a thorny area, because no one wishes to feel ‘cheated’ when divorce is already  a betrayal or abandonment of marriage. Nevertheless, it is imperative to step back and obtain strong neutral advice by those not invested in protracting the case, because again rarely do people feel better off financially after the litigation process.
5. Custody issues. The emotions of the situation are at the most extreme with the children, and indeed it is laudable to have the children’s best interests at heart. The question is how best to address those interests. Litigation is a gruelling business, involving all the family, and its aftermath lives on, so is never over.

People are understandably in an emotional and  confused state, which is part of the natural healing process from a traumatic upheaval. Yet decisions must be made before the human mechanism has had time to adjust. One needs strong empathetic advice which will resonate and be considered.